Polyamory - A Love Story

So after the ganja session, Joanne suggests we all walk down to the lake and go skinny dipping. Uh, I don't know about all that but sure, I'm down to go for a walk. Of course, before we get up and leave, Joanne re-ups both women's cups with drink. We never got around to making that store run for mixers....so tonight's drink of choice is wine. I don't remember which brand. Hell, there's about 22,000 different brands of wine. Who can keep up with all them? Joanne asks me if I want. "Nah, I'm good." I quit drinking for the day, cause hey, we can't all be foolishly drunk.

So after Joanne fills Jasmine's cup and walks back toward the cooler, I lean over and whisper in Jasmine's ear, "Babe. That's it. No more drinks tonight." She stands up, and to my frustration, responds loud enough for them to hear, "I'm good Papi. I just got a nice buzz. C'mon let's go", then gets up from her chair and reaches for my hand. I take one of those annoyed deep breaths, look down at the ground, stall for a sec, then stand up. I look at her as if she can read my mind, Why you had to respond so they can hear? Now I look like the party-pooper. She knows I'm annoyed but wants me to relax. She keeps reaching for my hand. Enough already with the sourpuss routine. Just reach for her hand. Sometimes I wish I could mute my inner-voice. But whatever. Fine. I reach for her hand. She smiles and we start walking.

We get to the lake and Ramon starts laughing, "Yo. The shit looks bugged out right? It looks like Friday the 13th - Crystal Lake out here." I look at the lake and.....oh shit, he's right. I see tall silhouettes of the trees surrounding the lake, the reflection of the moon on the water and the whole scenery is encompassed in darkness. Even the beach sand is faintly visible. This is exactly the type of environment people get murdered in. We could get killed. Right here. Right now. Our bodies hauled off into the woods and no one would ever find us. This shit ain't funny. Calm down. That's the weed messing with you. Relax. This is a secure campground. Take it easy. Take it easy, my ass. I seen way too many movies not to recognize a perfect killing-grounds when I see one. "Babe."........"Babe?" Yo, your wife is talking to you dummy. Huh? Your wife? Oh. "Yeah. I'm just admiring the reflection of the moonlight. It's beautiful." "It is right? Even at night time it's so peaceful out here." Ramon makes the infamous 'Jason Voorhees' sound effect....."Chich, chich, chich, chich....ha, ha, ha, ha." Everyone starts laughing. I hesitate, give a halfhearted laugh, but then realize I'm letting the weed affect my mood. So I laugh right along with them. A lot of good weed did you.

A couple minutes later I shake off my apprehensiveness fully and regain my swagger, "So who's first?" Joanne responds, "What are you talking about?" I smile, "You said we going skinny dipping right? Well, go ahead. Set it off." "Yeah, I meant everybody." "OK. But it was your idea. So you first." Ramon laughs. Jasmine puts her cup down on the sand and reaches for Joanne's hand, "C'mon. I'll go with you." They both run toward the water and kick their sandals off. Still holding hands, they take their first few steps into the water. Jasmine yells out, "Oh, hell no! The water is cold as fuck!" And she quickly lets go of Joanne's hand while rushing back onto the sand. Joanne follows suit. Ramon and I are both laughing. In the middle of laughing, I accidentally kick Jasmine's drink. Oooops. Oh well, I guess no more drinking for you my dear.

Jasmine goes straight for Ramon. Interesting. It kind of throws me off as I was not expecting that, but OK. Let's see how this goes. Joanne also notices and does the same for me. Now I'm slowly walking side-by-side with Joanne and we all head toward the lifeguard's chair - a fifteen foot high chair painted in white, wide enough to seat us all. But we don't climb up it. Just stand next to it and talk for a bit. We start off as group conversation but slowly Jasmine starts paying more mind to Ramon. Their interaction slowly fades into private conversation. I hear Jasmine giggling but I can't make out what Ramon is saying to her. They're standing face-to-face. Her hand is on his chest. Ah, just tune them out. Good idea. Cause right now I find myself becoming extremely irritated with Jasmine's new found fondness of Ramon. She's acting all giddy toward him and after the 'I love you' moment, all this attention toward him is starting to become about as comfortable as a one size too small button-up collar shirt. You got Joanne in front of you, stupid. Pay attention. I'm trying but I keep scanning to my left through my peripheral. Joanne starts kissing me. OK. This'll work. Yeah, this'll definitely work. I start to really get into the kiss. Put my hands on Joanne's face then slowly move them behind her ears to run my fingers through her hair. I love the way her hair feels. Soft. Plus she smells good. And her lips? They feel perfect. Damn, she's so sexy. Then.....What the fuck are they talking about over there? Yup, just that fast my thoughts are on Jasmine again. Joanne and I continue kissing but I keep turning my attention over there. A couple minutes pass and I start obsessing over their conversation. Joanne breaks my compulsiveness when she says, "Let's all sit up there." Jasmine replies, "OK." And we climb up the lifeguard chair's ladder. Cool.

The seating arrangement was still swapped. Jasmine next to Ramon and so forth. But at least I'm within earshot now. Go ahead and listen now, with your nosy ass. It didn't really matter anyways though, because within a few minutes the women start kissing each other and set play in motion once again. After the girl-on-girl kissing, the women turn their attention on us men. Joanne and I start kissing. They do the same. Then, she starts pleasing him. Great. So eager to please Ramon today I see. Now I'm getting irritated. Why didn't she wanna please me first? She always goes for me first. And plus.....It is my birthday. This is bullshit. I can't watch. I whisper to Joanne, "Let's go down on the sand." She whispers back, "OK", and we climb down. While climbing down, I look at Jasmine doing her thing. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I'm turned-off but tell myself to tune her out so as to not make Joanne feel unwanted.

Once we're on the ground, and a short walk away, I start kissing her. Slowly, while holding her lower back, I lower her onto the sand and I end up on top. Joanne looks so beautiful right now....laying there, with her hair all sprawled out. I can't believe I have her out here like this. I look at the water. The moon. Then at all the sand around us. Wow. Beautiful woman. Sex on the 'Beach'. Right here. Right now. Another first for the memory books. Life is good. I look back into her eyes and we start kissing again. After a few minutes, I hear noise in the background. It's Ramon and Jasmine. They're climbing down the ladder. Where are they going? I keep kissing Joanne but turn my head sideways left to see where they are going. Rude of me right? Well, right now I can't help it. So they're walking toward the billboard sign next to the lifeguard's chair. It's a six foot high by four foot wide sign which displays the lakeside rules. OK. Cool. They're not walking off. I feel better and turn my attention completely on Joanne now.

Things take me a while. Hey, I'm dealing with some jealousy issues here. But we get the wheels in motion. Slow. Passionate. Missionary style. The whole Sex on the 'Beach' appeal made it even more erotic. Euphoric almost. Her hands are moving up and down my back and everything about this feels so right. A couple minutes into it and it feels like we're lost into each other. Then.....I hear Jasmine moaning in the background. Loud as hell. I turn my head to peep. What the fuck?! Ramon is standing up, holding her up by her bottom ass. Jasmine is literally off the ground, her back is up against the billboard, arms spread out on top of the sign for extra support.....and it looks far more intense than any position I've ever tried with her. Aggressive even. She's completely enthralled by him and moaning like she's having the best sex she's ever had in her entire life. It looks like something straight out of a movie. It was too much for me. I feel Joanne's hand trying to turn my face back toward her so that I can focus on what we were doing. But I instantly I lose all desire to make love to her. I couldn't. I was done. The whole night, everything, the I love you, the extra attention toward Ramon, the giddiness, the pleasing him first. And now this? Nah, I was finished. My manhood was crushed. Obliterated. I felt like a deflated balloon. My swag was at negative 100 below. Non existent.

I tried to shake it off. C'mon bro, Joanne deserves your attention too. But this time, my 'Cool' tank was on E. So I got off her, stood up, and just like that I started getting dressed. I saw the awkward and confused expression on Joanne's face and I felt bad. But what was I to do? It was a wrap for me. Once I was done getting dressed, I sat down next to her and stared off into the woods. I couldn't even bring myself to watch Ramon and Jasmine as they kept going. The sounds of her moans were torture. I just sat there, thinking maybe I made a huge mistake for getting in this stupid ass swinger lifestyle. What have I gotten myself into? Bro, you just gonna sit here and let another man please your wife better than you? I started picturing us making love, of all the unconventional places we've done it since way back. Since High School. I pictured the night I lost my virginity to her. The teenage girl I fell in love with. The one who's been in my life long enough for me to witness her blossom into the beautiful woman she is. My wife. The woman I've regarded so sacredly is now in the hands of a more able man. It was killing me. And I felt even more crushed that Jasmine was oblivious to me.

You fucked up bro. You just unleashed the sexual monster in your wife. What you gonna do now, playa? Huh? I'm telling myself to shut up. I wanna mute my thoughts so bad right now. Joanne sits up next to me and fixes her summer dress but we don't say one word to each other. After a minute or two of our awkward live-porn entertainment, I say to Joanne, "You might as well go over there. Ain't nothing going on here. Your husband's a beast. Go ahead. Join the party." She didn't respond and for a while she didn't move either. Who knows what she was thinking or how she was feeling? Rejected? Insulted? Disappointed? Maybe she's giving me the finger in her mind? Maybe she thinks I'm a fuckin loser? I don't know. But after awhile, she stands up and heads toward them. Have fun. I remain seated on the sand, about 20 feet from all the action. Once Joanne joins them, Jasmine finally looks around for me. Yippee! Kind of late, dontcha think?

She realizes how awkward the situation looks and stops what she's doing. She unwraps her legs from around Ramon. Gets back on her feet. Leaves him and heads toward me. "What's up babe? Why are you sitting by yourself?" "Nah. Don't worry about it. You weren't concerned about what I was doing while you were busy. Why start now?" She sighs and sits next to me, "Babe, that's not fair. When me and Ramon climbed down I saw you on top of Joanne so I figured you two were good. It looked like you two were into each other." "Oh really? You've been throwing yourself all over him the whole night. I went on the sand because you were too busy with him to even notice me. You pleasuring him like it's his fuckin birthday or something."

She puts her hand over her mouth and looks surprised - like she knew she fucked up.
Awkward silence......

"Babe, I'm sooooo sorry. I forgot." I'm so disgusted by her reply that I can't even come up with a response. What you mean you forgot? You're the one who announced it to Joanne when we first arrived. I just sit there. Looking off into the woods and then over at Ramon and Joanne. They look like they're about to have some fun. Cool. At least she's in good hands now. Jasmine continues, "Babe. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, let's not fight over this. You're still having a nice birthday though. Isn't this what you wanted? What we're all doing?" I stay silent. Close my eyes for a bit. I don't even know how to feel right now. I'm experiencing a combination of jealousy, embarrassment, disappointment, intimidation and failure all in one. I try to blank my mind. Close my eyes. Concentrate on breathing. Open my eyes. Ramon and Joanne have started their sexcapade. "Babe. Please. Say something. Let's not ruin the night. I thought you were having a good time." I look up at the lifeguard's chair. Then down at my feet. Slowly, I begin digging my heels into the sand. Then, I zone in on my toes. I look at my left foot. Then over at my right. "Papi. Please. I thought you said you don't wanna fight?" I look up and stare at the ladder again. I'm spacing out in a sort of Twilight Zone mode. Everything I do is in slow motion. My eye movements. Even the way I blink. Slow and deliberate. I don't say anything to her. Just in my head. Why you have to moan so loud and rub it in my face? The silence finally breaks Jasmine. Through my peripheral I see her put her head down as if giving up. I turn my eyes slowly toward her, freeze, then back toward my front. Close them once more. One last deep breath. In.........and exhale.......Out. Open my eyes. Fine. I did say I don't wanna fight, didn't I? I turn slightly toward her and ask in a low voice, "So what you wanna do?"

Tricky - Overcome