Polyamory - A Love Story

Now then, back to the story, shall we? But before we do, a quick disclaimer....the next several entries reflect a dark period. Please be open-minded while reading. Alright then, here we go.....

The camping trip with the kids comes to an end. Fast forward some.....two weeks pass and we invite Ramon & Joanne over to our home - for the first time. Fwd.....it's later that night. We 'play' as a group. I get nervous. Again? Geez, what a loser. How's about we skip past that. Fwd.....fwd.....fwd.....fwd.....a couple weeks have passed. Jasmine and I are at home having a huge falling out. I'm furious at her and tell her I'm done hanging out with Ramon & Joanne. Done with swinging period. Joanne and I end up speaking on the phone. I tell her it's been great, hopefully we can all remain friends, yeah right, but I'm done with all that extra stuff - take care. I get on the computer. Delete our Swinger's profile. It's a wrap. Fuck swinging.

Wow, I was pretty upset. Let me back up some. Reeeeewind.........

OK, here we go. It's Memorial Day weekend aka my birthday weekend. We're at the campgrounds yet once again. It's become quite the get-a-way for us city folk, hasn't it? It's afternoon. Lakeside. Both women are lounging in those low sitting beach chairs. They're tanning and sipping on drinks. In a last minute rush to get out here, Jasmine and I forgot and left the Cranberry juice in the fridge at home. So now.....the drink of the day is Vodka mixed with the kids' leftover Capri Sun juices. We need to make a store run. But not now. Later.

Ramon's in the water. Swimming. Or wading. Take your pick. Me? Well, I'm still on land....chillin. Just digging my toes into the sand and admiring everything. I remembered to wear my sunglasses this time. All the sudden I hear, "Yo Marco! Heads up!" Ramon tosses a Nerf football my way. Of course, being the natural stud that I am, I easily make several catches and toss back. This goes on for a bit until he decides to throw a distant one and I have to start sprinting for it.

While sprinting, my eyes are fixed on the ball. I'm running. Running. Almost. Al....most.....there. I reach for the ball. Got it! Then Bamn! The sound of aluminum crashing into each other! I run right into someone else's beach chairs and stumble over them both. Plus a cooler. My body is hurling around and I end up on the ground. Luckily, no one was sitting in those chairs. But now sand's on my face and in the corner of my mouth. I get up to the sound of the women laughing. Wipe my mouth and spit out the rest. I'm slightly embarrassed, dust myself off and pretend like I meant to do that, "You see? THAT'S skill. Ain't nothing getting past me." Meanwhile I'm thinking, Damn, that shit hurt. Fucking beach chairs.

Jasmine responds to my bragging with, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You OK Papi? Need me to kiss your boo-boo?" Joanne laughs. I'm still acting cocky, "Please. I'll do that all day. Cause that's the type of dude I am. OK? Supreme athleticism right there. Recognize." They still laugh. Ah, whatever. I look down. Stupid chairs. I feel like kicking them halfway across the beach. They hit me right in the shin and the pain stings something horrible. But I can't let the women see me hurting. Not after the shit I talked. Tough it out homie. I see Ramon smiling, I'm guessing he's trying to hold in his laugh, "You aight bro?" "Yeah. Yeah I'm good. Here", as I toss the football back and head toward the beach chairs - to fix them back to their upright positions.

Fwd.....later that night.

Now before I continue, keep in my mind, the relationship is still of the mindset that we are all swingers. There hasn't been any talk of exclusivity or of taking things further. In fact, we still haven't reached the point of separately flirting with each other's spouse. No texting or phone calls between the women and men. It seems no one wants to come off disrespectful by doing so. As it stands, we're pretty much building on our friendship as a group.

So like I was saying.....later that night.
Might as well cut to the chase.

We're at the camper. Things get hot, and once again, clothes come off. Jasmine ends up with Ramon. Joanne with me. It took me a while to get past my mental road block (the performance anxiety monster). But eventually I was able. Such a frustrating handicap. OK, so the music is going and everybody is busy doing their thing. Sometime well into this group action Jasmine says to Ramon, "I love you." Whoah! Hold the press! Did I just hear what I think I heard? I know damn well my wife didn't just tell some dude, whom we've only known for a couple weeks, that she loves him. Fuck nah! Drunk & high or not.....this isn't sitting too well with me.

No one's aware of my sudden frustration, but while I'm trying my best to remain focused on Joanne, I'm giving Jasmine the evil look. She doesn't see me doing so but my eyes are fixed on her. I feel my heart starting to beat faster. My breathing starts becoming heavier. I know I'm about to pop so I close my eyes and inhale deeply.....Keep your cool mu'fucka. KEEP your cool. No need to cause a scene and make things real awkward for everyone. I exhale slowly.....open my eyes. I keep my composure. But I'm definitely approaching her on this the first chance I get.

Trust, I didn't waste any time either. When we all finished I ended up with Jasmine by my side. Joanne went off with Ramon. I got dressed and I asked Jasmine to go for a walk with me. "Right now?" "Yeah. C'mon." "OK. Fine. Let me get dressed." Because of her buzz, it took her a while to get herself together but I was pissed and refused to help. And what was just an annoying few minutes seemed like an eternity. I was growing restless and impatient. Ramon comes back around, "You guys good?" Jasmine laughs in one of those drunken, not altogether type laughs then responds, "Yeah. I can't find my other sandal though. And Marco wants to go for a walk." He joins in on the hunt and helps her find it. Good, can we leave now?

We get halfway down the dirt road and it's dark. Horror movie dark. But the moon is doing a decent job of lighting the woods. So we'll be fine. When we get far enough from eavesdropping distance I ask, "What's up with you telling him you love him?" "What?! What are you talking about?" "During sex. I heard you say you love him when y'all were busy going at it." "I don't know what you're talking about babe. Why would I tell him I love him?" "Exactly! Why the fuck did you? That's what I wanna know." "I didn't!" "Bullshit! I fuckin' heard you! I didn't just imagine it. You told him and I heard it!"

I stay quiet to remain as composed as I can.....

After about a minute she breaks the silence, "Look babe, seriously I don't remember saying it. But if that's what you heard then I guess I did. But if I did, then it was just sex talk babe." "Sex talk?! Sex talk?" I'm fuming now, "You don't hear me telling Joanne I love her. That's something you say to ME during sex, not that mu'fucka. Yo, you just played me in front of him. He's gonna probably think he got super dick now. Mu'fucka put it on you so good, he got my wife telling him she loves him." I'm beyond furious now, "Fuuuuuck!" I grit my teeth, ball my fists, then take a deep breath. Exhale. I wanna punch something so bad but I can't. I ain't punching a tree, that's for sure. This is so frustrating. Why did she have to say those words? Well, since I ain't punching a damn thing, I open my fists and ease up. Place both hands on top of my head. Look down. Then turn around and put both hands over my face. I need to think so I decide to stand still for a moment.....move my hands back up my face. Now my fingertips are touching my temples. I start massaging my temples. Shit. My mind is completely blank. I don't even know what else to say. I need a moment.........Ah, what's the use? I turn around toward Jasmine again. I hear her voice starting to crack, "I'm sorry Papi. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. It was the moment. The whole vibe. We're all together having sex. I was feeling nice. The sex was good and I guess I got caught up in the moment. I really don't remember saying it but I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to play you."

She tries to touch my hand but I refuse. Nah, go ahead with that. She has that sad rejected look, then turns away. A minute later I hear that noise a person makes when their nose is running and they're trying to suck it up. You know.....sniffles. And I think to myself, Whatever. Get out of here with that shit.

Another minute passes. It's silent, except for the sound of her sniffles.
Aaaargh.

I'm such a pussy. I've always had a soft spot for Jasmine crying - no matter how upset I am with her. So I'm standing there. Head facing the ground. Eyes closed now. The only thing I can think of doing is to listen to myself breathe. Slow, deep inhales. Pause. Then forceful exhales. I'm still pissed at her but I feel myself caving in. I hear a sniffle. Don't fall for it. Don't.....Fall. For. It. Another sniffle. Damn. My tough guy armor just collapsed. Wuss. I'm so disappointed in myself that I suck my teeth. Ah, whatever. What's done is done. I take one last slow, deep breath. Exhale loudly. Open my eyes.

I see her standing there, visibly upset. The tears are wiped off but it's obvious she was crying - her eyes are watery. I reach for her hand and slowly pull her in for a hug. She leans her head on my shoulder and I lean my head on hers. Another sniffle then ,"I'm sorry Papi." I don't say anything back. Just stand there holding her for a while. Finally, when I'm at my mellowest, "Aight babe. Forget about it. Let's go back. I didn't come all the way out here to beef with you. It was a slip up. That's it. I'm cool. I'm ready to chill again. You ready?" She looks into my eyes, I guess to see if I was sincere about being cool. "For real, I'm cool babe. Let's go", and I give her a kiss. She turns it into a long, passionate kiss and holds me tighter. When we finish she wipes her eyes one last time to hide the fact from Ramon & Joanne. I look at her then ask, "You ready?" "Yeah......yeah, I'm ready", and she gives me a quick tap kiss. "Let's go." We walk back toward the camper holding hands. As we get closer I smell the aroma of weed in the air. Ramon and Joanne are chilling by the campfire appreciating nature once again. Hmmm, maybe that's exactly what I need right now. Perfect.

John Legend - Let's Get Lifted Again