Polyamory - A Love Story

Last but definitely not least. The ever fascinating, unapologetically brash, and by far the most hedonistic one of the bunch....my sexy girl, Joanne. Yes, she is quite the eye candy I must admit; and carries herself with the type of confidence that usually comes with such beauty. No, not conceit but confidence. It permeates her personality. Add to that the right mixture of street smarts, a stubborn yet caring spirit, a sassy mouthpiece and you have yourself the veritable and dare I say epitome of a 'Brooklyn girl'.

Joanne has no qualms with the life she's lead. On her own since the age of 16, she jumped headfirst into the real world; even serving a short stint as a dancer. Yes, the exotic kind. Since then, Joanne has tried her hand at a few jobs until finally taking the educational plunge and eventually finding herself in a suitable and very respectable vocation. A move that had her on a nice career track for the past couple of years. But alas, her employer was not immune to the crippling effects of our current economic recession and so our Joanne has fallen victim to the wave of massive lay-offs. This turn of events doesn't seem to bother her though, as she is still the vibrant woman Jasmine and I have come to know.

Joanne is definitely the loquacious one amongst us. On occasion, this trait has caused her to reveal things that the mostly laconic Ramon would have preferred they kept to themselves. She doesn't do it out of spite, it's just her nature. She just lets the stuff out. For instance, in the beginning if Jasmine and I didn't hear from either one of them in a few days, I would call Joanne to see if everything is OK. So I'd ask the usual, "What's up babe? Everything good?" And she'd respond, "Yeah. Me and Ramon are fighting. Same shit as always. We aren't talking. I don't give a shit though. He's busy being Bob Villa. What's up with you?"

Now, tidbits like that have always been a strain on the group because then Jasmine and I would fall back, stop with the texting and phone calls out of respect; in order to give them time to sort things out. So a few days turn into a week - and now the weekend is shot. Back then we were only getting together every other weekend, due to Jasmine's work schedule.

But anyways, I'm getting sidetracked.

When she wants, Joanne puts her sexy yet thrifty fashion sense to work. The end result? Exquisiteness....times two. Oh, and even though she always seem to lose one, the waterfall style earrings she favors only accentuate her beauty that much more. But appearances aside, Joanne commands attention. She has a very distinct laugh that sounds cute and funny at the same time. Sometimes the sound of her laughter makes a joke or hilarious moment even funnier. And when she's in one of her jolly moods, she is quite the bubbly personality. A joy to be around. Definitely 'Cool peoples' in my book, regardless of whether or not she was my girl. Put her and Jasmine together in the same room and you're in for some good times. That's without drinks. With?....ah man, you got yourself a party now. I'm talking bonafide fun-o-rama. Yup, they're great just being PG. The more explicit, grown and sexy stuff is bonkers.

One of the greatest experiences I've ever had was being audience to them two caught up in a very erotic and sensual love making scene. Right there, live. In my home no less. See, the lights were dim, candles spread all throughout the basement, the music was seductive and perfect, and the women are making out. Then slowly, they start removing each others clothing. Their hands and lips are all over each other as they make their way onto the pool table. Balls get pushed out the way as they scoot themselves toward the middle, never losing a hold on the other. Kissing, touching, their eyes gazing, slow body movements, hair everywhere, the taking turns of pleasuring each other....all this while both men are fully clothed, drinks still in hand - just enjoying the show.

I'm completely fascinated, mesmerized by it all and probably had the cheesiest grin on my face. So Ramon turns toward me and says, "Yo Marco. You got a camcorder?" I respond, "Yeah. But I don't know where that shit is right now." Still, I run upstairs to look for it real quick, maniac style. I'm throwing all kinds of shit out my closet. Bam! I find it. Check to see if there's a tape inside. Yup! I don't give a shit what's on the tape, I'm capturing this. I hit the On switch. Damn! Battery's dead. I check all four spares. Dead. Fuck! Oh well, back downstairs. "Nah bro. No luck", I tell him. We're both disapointed but quickly focus back on the women. Of course, we later join in on the fun. But just watching them for a few songs worth of time was a beautiful experience, forever ingrained in the memory bank. Ramon and I are some lucky bastards indeed.

Joanne is a handful. At times, too much I must admit. See, what Ramon refers to as tough love - I consider Joanne being cold. She has a tendency to shut down emotionally and act indifferent; like she's perfectly content without you in her life....disregarding text messages, sometimes completely abandoning convos, and ignoring phone calls for days on end. Being that we don't spend time or see each other as often as I would like to, communication is crucial to me....it's my only connection to her. I've expressed to both Ramon and Joanne why I'm so sensitive about keeping in contact, but I didn't wanna keep harping on the issue. She did improve, but it kept going on and off throughout the relationship.

So, to avoid being the emotional boyfriend, I'd make light of her thoughtless ways and dismiss it as her simply being a stubborn ass chick or she was extremely busy. But honestly, that shit hurts. It hurts even worse when I see my wife happily attentive toward Ramon. You should see the Kool-Aid grin on Jasmine's face while speaking to him on the phone, even using her sexy phone voice. Do I get jealous? Yes. Irritated? Hells yes. I feel like the biggest sucker on the planet. Then.....in person, Joanne seems infatuated with me; like she's so deeply and passionately in love with me. Attentive to say the least, she wants to be next to me, holding, kissing me and gives me this piercing gaze as if she can't wait to rip off my clothes and get lost in love making. Confusing? You don't know the half.

Don't get me wrong, I relish those moments. But still, the pain from her indifference lingers in the back of my mind and I question my manhood. I'm thinking, "Bro, this chick steady plays Yo-Yo with your feelings. Why you still fuckin with her?" Then I think of how I care for her. How I cherish having her in my life. And of all the intimate moments and conversations that her and I shared. The long and passionate hugs. The jokes. The blooper moments that had us dying laughing. I think of her smile. How good it is just to be with her. I think of the group as a whole. I see how happy everyone is when everything is just right. I think of how unique this thing of ours really is. How rare, that there's an all around attraction. Both women are in love with both men and vice versa. We have similar interests and we're compatible in so many ways. It's one helluva relationship. And I don't wanna be the selfish prick who tears down the whole thing because I let my emotions get the better of me. So I check my ego as best I can. Though I gotta say....it's a struggle.

All in all, Joanne is a wonderful woman. You'd like her if you met her. In my mental garden of life, she is a magnificently beautiful Rose....thorns attached. Do I love her? As much as it hurts and I hate to admit at times, the answer is yes. Very much so. I just wish she realized the effect she has on others. All of us. Good and bad. Because I would like for nothing more than a strong solidarity of love among the group. That's real. Maybe I have a hard time understanding her. Maybe I put too much thought into things. Or maybe I'm too demanding. Who knows? I guess a love worth having isn't always going to be easy huh?

The Dream - Right Side of my Brain