Wow, how time flies. Admittedly, I've been negligent toward this blog for fear of becoming the Polyamoric version of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh...you know, the ever-miserable buzzkill forever sulking in self pity. As stated before, I'm a relatively outgoing person who loves to joke around, pop junk, and enjoy life. But this friggin group thing.....damn, damn, damn.....it's frustrating the shit out of me. Ok, so here's the latest - my group's relationship (or what's left of it) is still suffering. Actually it is now worse than ever due to a huge fallout between the women. That was about a month ago and now they aren't communicating with each other at all.
Ironically, us men have been taking turns keeping in touch, via text messages, throughout this ridiculously long silent treatment. I can sense his frustration in not chatting with my wife/his girl Jasmine for all this time; and truthfully I'd much rather be chatting with his wife/my girl Joanne. So either we both have enough sense to set our egos aside and keep some kind of connection during these trying times or we're both foolishly optimistic while in denial of our inevitable failure. Either way, I'm sure any sensible bookie would place 1000 to 1 odds on our chance of surviving this mess, cause right now we are one sorry bunch. But anyways, after a couple weeks of trying to 'stay busy' and trying to keep my mind preoccupied with life in general.... I'm ready once again to tackle the subject. Like Jay-Z used to say "I'm focused, man." Ok, so let's go.....
I will describe the details of the evening leading up to the 'cat-fight', along with many other highlights in forthcoming posts. But first I think this is an opportune time to shed more light on our individual backgrounds and personalities. Let's begin with him.
Ramon is a mild-mannered, considerate, quiet but very observant type of a guy. He can chill the whole night, barely mutter a few sentences but days later be able to recount what everyone said and/or did. He's the nurturing type who thrives off people's happiness (especially his wife and kids) by being able to cater to their wants and needs. The adults could be in the middle of a card game and he'll step away for a few minutes to help his daughter get past a level she's stuck on while playing the Nintendo DS. He is also obscenely thoughtful and has on many occasions surprised Jasmine and I with gifts - ranging from a dessert cake for family-night dinner which had the words 'One Love' written in icing.....to shot glasses, with our initials engraved, meant for toasting our first night of camping together.
Ramon is also fiercely devoted to the company that employs him, which he's been with almost since his teenage years. He started as a helper and hustled his way into management. Now the guy dons a suit & tie, has an office, and I'm assuming a nice salary - but his promotion also comes with the heavy price of enduring a monstrously time-consuming work schedule (sometimes requiring his presence of a month straight with no days off). There's been a few occasions where we made plans to hang as a group only to later find out he won't be getting out of work until late night. So Jasmine and I would meet up with Joanne and party on his behalf until he finally arrived. Mind you, there have been many instances where he was scheduled to work early the next day (sometimes 5AM) and yet he would show up eagerly intent on partying it up, even though the poor guy was visibly exhausted. So what's a sleep-deprived man to do if everyone else in his crew is in full party mode? Down a couple of Red Bulls of course...and that's exactly what he would do.
After a while, his pattern of refusing to waste his life away, by opting out of catching up on much-needed sleep, became well known to Jasmine and I. So we added Red Bull to our bi-weekly grocery list and kept the stuff stocked in our fridge for whenever him and Joanne came to visit us at our home. Jasmine thinks it's an unhealthy drink and prefers he stay away from that 'crap' - as she calls it. It wasn't until she experienced first-hand that Ramon plus late night partying minus the Red Bull equals Ramon dozing off on the sofa while the rest of us are wide awake.....that she resigned to the idea of maybe letting him drink them a necessary evil. But the highly caffeinated beverage, which 'gives you wings', isn't the only vice Ramon has. Oh no. In fact, he is an avid connoisseur of Cannabis sativa. Yes, that's right....homeboy likes him some weed. His preferred method of intake? Through his finely rolled Blunt Wraps of course; and he's pretty good at rolling I must admit. Also, I might add, he never shows up with a mere dime-sack or two. Hell nah. This dude routinely shows up with a humongous baggie filled with trees. Enough to make one wonder exactly what percentage of his monthly budget does 'Recreational Nature Appreciation' actually take up.
Ah yes....the 'other man' in my wife's life is a nice fellow indeed. Too nice if you ask me. For you see, it's his nice-guy persona that his wife, Joanne, exploits. She reaps the benefits of his seemingly hardwired need to cater to his family and in return she.....well, she enjoys the benefits. The scales of reciprocating one's admiration and appreciation toward their lover are noticeably unbalanced in their relationship. He knows it and yet he spoils her on a continual basis. He tries to release his frustration out on her by being overtly aggressive when it comes to sex. But this Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde approach only benefits her even more because she loves being dominated. She absolutely loves it. I witnessed it during group play. The man is a beast in that department; and I mean that with the highest regards. Seeing his wife sexually pleased then makes him happy all over again. Recognize a cycle here? This makes for a very passionate yet very volatile relationship.
The bottom line is Ramon is a very likable and admirable person. With a height of six feet and an overall burly appearance, I'm sure he could be an intimidating dude......if he chose to carry himself as such. Instead, he has a warm and caring heart which makes him a big 'ol Teddy Bear. I see that he is trying his best to lead an honorable life; always there for his family and job. I suppose he wants what any decent, hard working person wants....to know that his efforts are not only noticed but appreciated. I always wondered if maybe he smoked so much weed in order to help alleviate the stress of his demanding lifestyle. If so,....blaze up Ramon...blaze up. This track is for you.
Steve Miller Band - Fly Like An Eagle
- 1) My wife has a boyfriend.
- 2) Polyamory everywhere.
- 3) Has it really been that long?
- 4) Mr. Marco, please step up.
- 5) Whoah!
- 6) Sexy Brown Legs.
- 7) Dear reader,
- 8) Tantalizing Heart.
- 9) Imagine this blog.....
- 10) Break up to break through.
- 11) The show goes on.
- 12) Polyamory.
- 13) First feelings.
- 14) Finally.
- 15) Hear ye, hear ye
- 16) You said what?
- 17) Show stopper.
- 18) Why?
- 19) Done playing.
- 20) OK. Let's fix this.
- 21) Polyamory Paradigm
- 22) Long road ahead.
- 23) Places, everyone. Aaaaaaaaand........
- March (23)