2) Polyamory everywhere.



I like to consider myself a diligent, if not world-class, Googleologist...especially when it comes to my insatiable passion for discovering new music. But this past week I've been scouring the internet something fierce - bluntly put, I've been Googling my ass off - all in the pursuit of becoming a more informed Polyamorist. Lo and behold, I've stumbled onto several resources dealing with Polyamory; books, blogs, podcasts, Facebook profiles, and even matchmaker sites tailored for this lifestyle. There's a whole smorgasbord of this stuff out there. Of course, some of it I find to be too spiritual - basically full of shit – because I don’t see what’s so spiritual about all this. I’m not some wannabe, free-loving hippie on a mission to prove that Monogamy is unnatural. I’m just your regular, everyday, trash talking, Heineken drinking, hardworking, family man. That’s right folks…I’m just your average dude; only a slight bit more open-minded than most when it comes to sharing.

But anyways, you can imagine my surprise upon finding such an online 'community', considering that for a while I thought Joanne, Ramon, Jasmine and I were this super-rare breed of humans. Wow, so there are others out there doing the very same thing as us...I guess we're not so different after all. It makes me wonder why I haven't taken the time to Google all this sooner, then maybe the Fantastic Four (yes, occasionally I refer to the group as that) could have possibly avoided some very stressful times. But then again, maybe it's all for the best. Maybe we need to work through the seemingly never-ending turmoil in order to solidify our union, get past this 'Fuckfest Utopia' mindset and become not only a credible but also a very sustainable group relationship. Mind you, everyone in the group has clearly stated that they’re in this for the long haul and that it’s not just about sex. Ok cool – but then how come it still feels like it is at times? I’ll explain why I feel this way later. Before I forget…I would like to give a special shout to Polygrrl. I find her blog, about her own experience with Polyamory, to be very insightful and definitely worth taking the time to check out - if you haven’t already done so.


Mick Boogie & Adele - First Love

11 comments:

Kester said...

Hi Marco
I know something of what you mean I am in a MFF triad, I have been poly for about 12 years but previously in "V" relationships and this is so very different. I think the fact that we have all had some life experience and know that relationships take work, commitment and a common paradigm is reassuring. Finding that you aren't "on your own" is good and some of the posters on the sites offer valuable experience.

Marco said...

Kester,
From all the various Poly sites that I have visited, it appears to me that the most popular type of relationship is the triad (V or not). So I'm starting to wonder if maybe the Quad arrangement is the most difficult to manage.

mmkeekah said...

I think maybe it is impossible to avoid stressful times. At our very basic, we are all human and all drama prone and needy and clingy and need solitude... we need more or we need less. We just need what we need when we need it and darn anybody who doesn't get that? No what I mean?

There isn't a secret as to how something like poly works. You have to work at it. It's like losing weight - everyone wants a magic pill or a secret diet that will help them get to their ideal weight when really all that works is eating less and working out more.

That's what poly takes - work. And it never ends. Just like in a monogamous relationship - you get out of it what you put into it and when you stop working at it, it stops working.

Kudos to you for blogging and kudos to you all for working at it. I hope to see you more on Poly Percs. I'm a long time member and I also blog about all aspects of my life... including the poly stuff.

mmkeekah said...

p.s. I strongly suggest you all pick up a copy of Tristan Taromino's book, Opening Up; Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. It's got excellent sections on polyamory, swinging, jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem - everything. I think you will find it useful. And for fun, go to Amazon.com and search on polyamory - their is a bevy of very useful polyamory how-to books out there. You just need to look.

Marco said...

Thank you for the recommended reading. I'll hit up Amazon and order a copy.

FreeXenon said...

I have a whole page on my BLog dedicated to Poly resources that you might find of use:

http://www.arionshome.com/social-activism/polyamory-introduction/

Marco said...

@FreeXenon

Thank you for the link. Very nice stuff.

Elvenbeads said...

It was great to find your blog site Marco. I intend to share it with the other members of me "V" especially because we are each searching for others who might be going through similar life stories. And finding out that you "aren't alone." Is something of a "light bulb going off in your brain suddenly." I look forward to reading more from you.

Anonymous said...

Wow I find myself excited to read your blog as I am committed poly living. My partner and I have had our share of broken relationships as well. We live on Long Island and often feel "out of the box" Have been to The Manor, and explored the swing scene as well. We started a coaching practice for exactly the reasons you shared.

Jens Christensen said...

Hello,

A new website has hit the virtual airways, offering convenience of communication and ease of connections for poly-minded or poly curious individuals looking to connect with others of similar mindsets.

NOT a dating website, PolyamoryNetwork.com allows people to talk about their lifestyle, their hopes, dreams and aspirations in a safe and friendly environment quickly growing in numbers.

The website is highly recommended by the editor of Love Multiplied for those seeking to expand their poly circles.

The network is FREE to use, but you need to sign up in order to use the network. This means that non-member visitors can not access the member area and read the content.

This decision was made to keep the network more private. Non-members can only access our welcome page, which has sign-up and sign-in buttons and a short description of the network.

Furthermore, the network itself is protected by an SSL certificate in order to protect the users' personal log-in information etc.

The new network can be found here:
http://www.polyamorynetwork.com

All the best
Jens Christensen

PolyCouple said...

Being new to the Poly lifestyle, your blog really has helped my wife and I. Thank you!

Post a Comment