4:52 PM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
And oh yeah, I have a girlfriend. OK, I'll explain.
Well, I think I can safely assume, that as a group, we're definitely more comfortable with being 'closet Polyamorous'. By now, each of us have probably told a close friend, or two, about what we're doing - I know I have - but to come out publicly with family and co-workers?....nah, that's something I don't think any of us are prepared to do. Not yet anyhow. So for the meantime, I'll just pick some pseudonyms for each member involved and give you a quick background before I get to the gist of things. Here we go....
That would be me, Marco, and my lovely wife, Jasmine. High school sweethearts now in our early thirties, married with two children (boy and girl - both elementary school age). We both hold down what society deems as 'blue-collar' career type jobs. All in all, I'd like to say we're your average working class and happily married couple. We don't always see eye to eye, but we love each other very much.
Our other half, as we like to call them, would be Ramon, and his gorgeous wife, Joanne. They've been together almost as long as us - they hooked up a few years after high school. They're also married, are in their early thirties and coincidentally have a son and daughter pretty much the same ages as our own. They're also working class people and have a very passionate relationship with each other as well.
Under normal circumstances, we all probably would've never met due to distance alone. They both work and live in NYC, meanwhile my wife and I work and live in New Jersey. Sooooo....how did we all end up together? And why in the hell are we sharing each others spouses to begin with? Well I'll tell you.
I won't bore you with every intricate detail as to how we met, but thanks to this classy establishment out in Long Island, the Manor, we hooked up with the intent of 'swinging'. Yes, after years of flirting with the concept, Jasmine and I decided to finally to go out there and 'just do it' - ok, ok that was corny but you get the idea. We saw them, they saw us, we mingled, drank, danced, one thing lead to the next and before you know it we left the Manor, they got a room, we had a mini-orgy, then come morning Jasmine and I drove back to Jersey .... so we could get some sleep. It was great! We talked about the whole experience afterward and realized that we never exchanged phone numbers or if it was even appropriate to ask...we were newbies to the swinging 'scene' after all. Anyhow, a couple of months passed and we bumped into them at another party - this time in the city. I remember Jasmine and I being really excited to see them again and once the ladies started chatting, the sparks started flying. We didn't 'play' that night, but we all talked, had some good laughs and this time we made sure we exchanged phone numbers. That night was the start of something very special for us.
So what probably would've been chalked up as nothing more than a wild and extremely memorable night, for any couple bold enough to experiment with the swinger lifestyle, has somehow evolved into this exclusive and intimate group relationship. Let me just briefly clarify that both of us men are Straight and yet somehow lucky enough to be married to not only very beautiful but also fully bi-sexual wives. You gotta appreciate that! Ok, so before I come off as some kind of chauvinist pig or some horn dog who is more than happy to share his wife in order to bag another man's wife.....let me assure you that is not the case. In fact, I probably am not the most ideal type of person for the Swinger, much less Polyamory, lifestyle as I will reveal in due time.
Now, more than a year after our initial encounter, here we are. And what was once this super-exciting, roller coaster of sexual escapades... something that started out as weekend hangouts-turned-passionate nights, escalated into endless back & forth emails, phone calls and text messages between his wife (who in time 'became' my girlfriend) and I, him and my wife (now his girlfriend), then evolved into a more serious relationship filled with plenty of fun outings with our kids, mid-week family game/movie nights, weekend camping trips, then highly romanticized talks of future plans together.....has now landed in murky waters. To be blunt....things are fuckin' awkward as hell right now.
This is not the first time we've been in a slump, but it definitely is the worst. I've been racking my brain for days now trying to figure how I might've mishandled things, what could I have said/done differently, and every other type of thought one has when things are not looking so good in their relationship. Mind you, there is no "Polyamory for Dummies" we can refer to for help...not that any of us could find anyways. Hell, at first none of us were even aware that there was an actual word for what we were doing. We just considered ourselves swingers exclusive to each other....who knew feelings would come into play? Once that happened....forget it, we started questioning everything. Is this right? Should we be doing this? What if someone falls too hard for the others spouse? Then, we all started feeling comfortable with the idea...in fact, we even relished the whole situation. We thought we were some kind of next-gen swingers or the next evolution of humans, Mankind 2.0. Ok, that's a bit of a stretch.....but we were excited about all this. And although we all felt like we were crossing uncharted waters without any idea of how much further everyone was willing to go....everyone seemed brave enough to give it a shot. What a journey it's been. When things were good, it was great! And not to sound cheesy, but we've shared some moments that I'll remember for the rest of my life. But alas....this. It's like the batteries died.
Things have gotten so bad, we recently met for lunch - dinner wasn't even an option - in order to discuss ways we can try to resolve our current - and shitty - situation and hopefully get back to how things were...when everything was fun. It's been a couple days since, and for the first time ever we decided we'd try going to the movie theater, Brady bunch style. But in my opinion - going to the movies is the easiest way to spend time together while completely avoiding conversation. Even the way we sat in the row was distant (all four kids in the middle - while they sat on one end and we sat on the other)...real romantic right? So apparently the agreed upon 'starting fresh with a clean slate' idea is not working so well. At least from my point of view. Somehow we gotta get out of this rut we're in.
I am willing to give this relationship the utmost effort to make it last, as I have grown to love Joanne very much and I know Ramon loves my Jasmine. The women must love both of us men very much as well or else I couldn't imagine either one willing to endure so much drama for this long. The problem, as far as we all see it, stems from his and my insecurities and jealousies (although we both like to use the infamous 'male ego' as our excuse...I suppose it does sound more masculine). More on that later though.
I'm sure the light bulb will go on in somebody's head as to how we proceed from here. The closest comparison I can make to the current mess we're in....would probably be the first year of living with my wife. Damn, that was a rough year...it definitely took lots of love to make it past that with our relationship fully intact, and I'd dare say stronger. So being that we all don't live together, I'm confident we'll come out of this just fine and get on with the business of happiness - how a family is supposed to. After all, each one of us choose this....we wanted this and I very much still do. I hope everyone else does as well...it's just gonna take some work.
Flunk - Personal Stereo
9:17 AM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
I like to consider myself a diligent, if not world-class, Googleologist...especially when it comes to my insatiable passion for discovering new music. But this past week I've been scouring the internet something fierce - bluntly put, I've been Googling my ass off - all in the pursuit of becoming a more informed Polyamorist. Lo and behold, I've stumbled onto several resources dealing with Polyamory; books, blogs, podcasts, Facebook profiles, and even matchmaker sites tailored for this lifestyle. There's a whole smorgasbord of this stuff out there. Of course, some of it I find to be too spiritual - basically full of shit – because I don’t see what’s so spiritual about all this. I’m not some wannabe, free-loving hippie on a mission to prove that Monogamy is unnatural. I’m just your regular, everyday, trash talking, Heineken drinking, hardworking, family man. That’s right folks…I’m just your average dude; only a slight bit more open-minded than most when it comes to sharing.
But anyways, you can imagine my surprise upon finding such an online 'community', considering that for a while I thought Joanne, Ramon, Jasmine and I were this super-rare breed of humans. Wow, so there are others out there doing the very same thing as us...I guess we're not so different after all. It makes me wonder why I haven't taken the time to Google all this sooner, then maybe the Fantastic Four (yes, occasionally I refer to the group as that) could have possibly avoided some very stressful times. But then again, maybe it's all for the best. Maybe we need to work through the seemingly never-ending turmoil in order to solidify our union, get past this 'Fuckfest Utopia' mindset and become not only a credible but also a very sustainable group relationship. Mind you, everyone in the group has clearly stated that they’re in this for the long haul and that it’s not just about sex. Ok cool – but then how come it still feels like it is at times? I’ll explain why I feel this way later. Before I forget…I would like to give a special shout to Polygrrl. I find her blog, about her own experience with Polyamory, to be very insightful and definitely worth taking the time to check out - if you haven’t already done so.
Mick Boogie & Adele - First Love
1:43 PM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
Wow, how time flies. Admittedly, I've been negligent toward this blog for fear of becoming the Polyamoric version of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh...you know, the ever-miserable buzzkill forever sulking in self pity. As stated before, I'm a relatively outgoing person who loves to joke around, pop junk, and enjoy life. But this friggin group thing.....damn, damn, damn.....it's frustrating the shit out of me. Ok, so here's the latest - my group's relationship (or what's left of it) is still suffering. Actually it is now worse than ever due to a huge fallout between the women. That was about a month ago and now they aren't communicating with each other at all.
Ironically, us men have been taking turns keeping in touch, via text messages, throughout this ridiculously long silent treatment. I can sense his frustration in not chatting with my wife/his girl Jasmine for all this time; and truthfully I'd much rather be chatting with his wife/my girl Joanne. So either we both have enough sense to set our egos aside and keep some kind of connection during these trying times or we're both foolishly optimistic while in denial of our inevitable failure. Either way, I'm sure any sensible bookie would place 1000 to 1 odds on our chance of surviving this mess, cause right now we are one sorry bunch. But anyways, after a couple weeks of trying to 'stay busy' and trying to keep my mind preoccupied with life in general.... I'm ready once again to tackle the subject. Like Jay-Z used to say "I'm focused, man." Ok, so let's go.....
I will describe the details of the evening leading up to the 'cat-fight', along with many other highlights in forthcoming posts. But first I think this is an opportune time to shed more light on our individual backgrounds and personalities. Let's begin with him.
Ramon is a mild-mannered, considerate, quiet but very observant type of a guy. He can chill the whole night, barely mutter a few sentences but days later be able to recount what everyone said and/or did. He's the nurturing type who thrives off people's happiness (especially his wife and kids) by being able to cater to their wants and needs. The adults could be in the middle of a card game and he'll step away for a few minutes to help his daughter get past a level she's stuck on while playing the Nintendo DS. He is also obscenely thoughtful and has on many occasions surprised Jasmine and I with gifts - ranging from a dessert cake for family-night dinner which had the words 'One Love' written in icing.....to shot glasses, with our initials engraved, meant for toasting our first night of camping together.
Ramon is also fiercely devoted to the company that employs him, which he's been with almost since his teenage years. He started as a helper and hustled his way into management. Now the guy dons a suit & tie, has an office, and I'm assuming a nice salary - but his promotion also comes with the heavy price of enduring a monstrously time-consuming work schedule (sometimes requiring his presence of a month straight with no days off). There's been a few occasions where we made plans to hang as a group only to later find out he won't be getting out of work until late night. So Jasmine and I would meet up with Joanne and party on his behalf until he finally arrived. Mind you, there have been many instances where he was scheduled to work early the next day (sometimes 5AM) and yet he would show up eagerly intent on partying it up, even though the poor guy was visibly exhausted. So what's a sleep-deprived man to do if everyone else in his crew is in full party mode? Down a couple of Red Bulls of course...and that's exactly what he would do.
After a while, his pattern of refusing to waste his life away, by opting out of catching up on much-needed sleep, became well known to Jasmine and I. So we added Red Bull to our bi-weekly grocery list and kept the stuff stocked in our fridge for whenever him and Joanne came to visit us at our home. Jasmine thinks it's an unhealthy drink and prefers he stay away from that 'crap' - as she calls it. It wasn't until she experienced first-hand that Ramon plus late night partying minus the Red Bull equals Ramon dozing off on the sofa while the rest of us are wide awake.....that she resigned to the idea of maybe letting him drink them a necessary evil. But the highly caffeinated beverage, which 'gives you wings', isn't the only vice Ramon has. Oh no. In fact, he is an avid connoisseur of Cannabis sativa. Yes, that's right....homeboy likes him some weed. His preferred method of intake? Through his finely rolled Blunt Wraps of course; and he's pretty good at rolling I must admit. Also, I might add, he never shows up with a mere dime-sack or two. Hell nah. This dude routinely shows up with a humongous baggie filled with trees. Enough to make one wonder exactly what percentage of his monthly budget does 'Recreational Nature Appreciation' actually take up.
Ah yes....the 'other man' in my wife's life is a nice fellow indeed. Too nice if you ask me. For you see, it's his nice-guy persona that his wife, Joanne, exploits. She reaps the benefits of his seemingly hardwired need to cater to his family and in return she.....well, she enjoys the benefits. The scales of reciprocating one's admiration and appreciation toward their lover are noticeably unbalanced in their relationship. He knows it and yet he spoils her on a continual basis. He tries to release his frustration out on her by being overtly aggressive when it comes to sex. But this Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde approach only benefits her even more because she loves being dominated. She absolutely loves it. I witnessed it during group play. The man is a beast in that department; and I mean that with the highest regards. Seeing his wife sexually pleased then makes him happy all over again. Recognize a cycle here? This makes for a very passionate yet very volatile relationship.
The bottom line is Ramon is a very likable and admirable person. With a height of six feet and an overall burly appearance, I'm sure he could be an intimidating dude......if he chose to carry himself as such. Instead, he has a warm and caring heart which makes him a big 'ol Teddy Bear. I see that he is trying his best to lead an honorable life; always there for his family and job. I suppose he wants what any decent, hard working person wants....to know that his efforts are not only noticed but appreciated. I always wondered if maybe he smoked so much weed in order to help alleviate the stress of his demanding lifestyle. If so,....blaze up Ramon...blaze up. This track is for you.
Steve Miller Band - Fly Like An Eagle
8:21 PM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
Might as well get the two dudes out the way first right? After all, the center figures of the entire relationship are the women. They're the reason Ramon and I get jealous, insecure, and all worked up over. So I think it's only fitting I save them for last and undoubtedly give them more shine. Besides, when it comes down to making things more lively in any aspect....both men pale in comparison to either of the women.
Ok, I think I'll begin by calling myself a geek. Why not? Sure, the attire I'm most comfortable in (which normally consist of a crisp pair of loosely-laced Timberland boots, loose fitting jeans, stylish t-shirt, an ever so slightly-cocked fitted baseball cap, and a shiny timepiece for good measure....might suggest otherwise. Sure, my usage of slang and the occasional curse word mixed in with my daily dialect (such as the word dope, used to describe something I like - "Those jeans are dope"; and the word mu'fucka, used to describe any random person - "Yo! You saw what that mu'fucka just did?!")....might also suggest otherwise. And I suppose my tendency to blast my music, (whenever my kids are not in the car of course) while I drive through the rundown part of the city I reside in....may suggest otherwise as well.
I admit, upon first impression I could easily be written off as nothing more than common ghetto folk. Ah, but I possess a rare trait among common ghetto folk....that is I read books....and actually enjoy doing so. Yes people, it's true. Ok, ok, I'm being a wise ass. But in all seriousness, I spend a good portion of my free time reading. Whether its books I purchase or the various blogs I happen to come across doesn't matter to me. As long as I learn something, I can dig it. Oddly enough, I also find much satisfaction in listening to AM radio talk shows - particularly those found on WWRL. I actually prefer tuning into this stuff over the commercial music stations on FM radio. Kind of weird for a music buff such as myself, don't cha think? I even try to extract as much insight & knowledge as I can from conversations with some of the older folk at my job. My wife tells me it's because I'm a Gemini that I have this constant craving for new information. Maybe so, although I don't place too much thought to all that Astrology Mumbo Jumbo. So.... it is because of these and several other quirks, that I shamelessly call myself a geek.
As far as employment goes, I work at a respectable government agency, making a decent buck I suppose. But my lack of a formal higher education coupled with my ambition, for a lifestyle more suited to my taste, has lead me to subsidize my income by....let's just say illegitimate means. No, I'm not a part-time street pharmacist nor claiming to be one. No siree! Your boy is technologically savvy, so instead I found myself a nice little niche. Might as well leave the coke-slinging to all those mega-rich rappers who live in big, fancy homes and tour all over the world....yet somehow, still be in the hood putting in that work. But anyways, it was this extra source of income that allowed me to save up a sizable down payment toward my current home and also helped to cover my monthly household expenses while my wife was attending school full-time. Now she works in the Healthcare industry making more money than me. Ain't that some shit? Before my current career track I was all over the place; from a six-year stint in the Army (for which I proudly served and received an Honorable Discharge) to some pretty shitty ass jobs. The worst was when I drove trucks for a meat-rendering company. Not only was it disgustingly foul smelling work...but damn near all my co-workers were ex-convicts. Definitely not the type of job I would admit to doing at the time. But the money was good and I did what I had to do to support my family right?
I'd like to think I'm a good husband, father and friend; but then again, who doesn't? Personality wise, I'd say I'm mostly reserved and lean toward being quiet until I feel comfortable enough around people to let out my cocky side. Once I consider someone 'cool peoples'....forget it, there's not much I won't say to their face. As pointed out by my girl, Joanne, who once told me that I like hear myself talk, I sometimes go on these spells of 'know-it-all' rants. I don't mean to annoy, but I guess I get caught up trying to break up the monotony of my mostly laid-back demeanor. By the same token, I like joking around and broadcasting nonsense - such as reminding everyone in my group that, "I am the brains of this operation". Trust me, swagger is a trait I carry in abundance. But, apart from those types of moments, I'm mostly a mellow dude. I'm a good listener and someone who people seem to like enough to wanna confide in. I detest phony people and so I make it a point to never become one myself. Maybe that's why I speak so bluntly at times. (Although I suspect this is one of my qualities that irritates Ramon.)
I try to be as best a friend and romantic as I can to my wife. I won't pretend I'm some sort of Mr. Wonderful. I do have my share of thoughtless and selfish 'guy' moments I admit. But I respect the sanctity of our marriage and do put forth the effort to let her know how much I cherish her. Whether it's a small gesture like a simple text message letting her know I was thinking of her while working, or something more passionately involved such as taking Salsa dance lessons with her. I put in the work. In fact, the way I make love to her is slow and sensual yet somehow intense enough to make us both break out in a sweat. Truthfully, I wish I could be more aggressive sometimes and put it on her like a porn star.....but I guess it wasn't in the cards for me. Damn. Fortunately though, she's expressed her great satisfaction plenty enough for me to know I must be doing something right. <---- Note the contrasting performance styles of both men....as it's been an ongoing issue that affects the entire group.
All in all, I would say I'm not a bad guy. I stand 5'8", keep relatively well groomed and remain actively conscious of whether or not I have fresh smelling breath. I gotta say though....as much Heineken as I consume on a weekly basis, I'm impressed by the remarkably slender physique I've been able to maintain. That's right folks, no beer belly here. Then again, it's probably because I was naturally predisposed to be a stud. Don't get it twisted though, it's no easy feat being this charming, and this handsome, and oh yeah....this modest. Ok, ok, I think that's enough of my wise ass self-praising. Seriously though, if you've read up to this point and find me to be likable - then I'm sure you wouldn't be disappointed in person. Enough said, right? Now then....for my musical selection I need something funky; something with some umph; something to reflect the diddy bop I carry myself with. How about some.......
Slum Village - Things You Do (Remix)
7:34 AM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
Ideally, this entry here should be about one of the women. Duh....it only makes sense, right? Trust, my next one will be. But for now, I wanted to share an interesting rant I came across while mining for some Poly-insight.
Now this posting here, as you can see for yourself, is a fairly long one. But it so piqued my interest that I couldn't help but to keep reading until I finished the whole thing. The shit was ridiculously intense; imagine the movie Kill Bill. Now imagine Uma Thurman ten times more pissed off. Except in this version, Uma is a Poly Secondary going after Primaries. Stick with me on this. If rants could be turned into fight scene choreography - then somebody would have to nominate the author, Joreth, for some kind of award. Seriously. I don't give a shit what....an Oscar, MTV Moon Man, Kids' Choice Award......something. Cause by the time I was done reading, all I could think was "Dammmmmn! Now THAT'S what the f*ck I'm talking about right there!" I was ready to go outside and pimp slap the first Primary I met.
Ok, I'm being a wise-ass as usual. But seriously, due to my particular type of quad relationship, I find myself intrigued by the perspective of both Primary and Secondary Poly folk. Why? Well, because.....technically I'm both. Primary to my wife and Secondary to Joanne, am I not? (I mean, I'm courting the woman married to the man courting my wife.) The same goes for the other three; we all play dual roles. It's no wonder we're all screwed up. And to think we each wanted the freedom to branch out and begin our own V relationships as well. I'm only kidding! Just kidding folks.
Anyways, for anyone else who took the time to read through Joreth's entire rant - pretty good stuff eh? Well until next time, Arrivederci! Joreth, this tune's for you....
Daughter Darling - Dust in the Wind
4:39 PM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
Yes indeedy. It is now time move on to the spice and seasoning of what would otherwise be my bland quad-arrangement....the women. But before I begin, I would like to give a quick shout out to all the kind people over at Polyamory Percolations. I might need a late pass - as I'm sure they're a staple to the online Poly community, due to the informative and friendly nature of the site. But for anyone who has yet to....I highly recommend you check them out; you'll be glad you did. By the way, thank you Natja for putting me on to them. Ok now, let's do this. Shall we?
This particular entry will focus on the outlandishly witty, insanely sexy, and most compassionate woman I have ever known. The lady who has had my heart since the days of cutting class and having no responsibilities in life (with the exception of bringing home good grades and keeping my room clean)....my beautiful wife, Jasmine. I'll start by pointing out that she's a bit apprehensive about being herself in front of new faces, that is until she feels she's amongst 'phony free' company, then she's all the rage. See unlike me, Jasmine is one of those 'Life of the party' types. At social functions, I'll be carrying on as usual with the fellas, shooting the shit, just chillin....nothing spectacular going on where I'm at. Across the room though, Jasmine has the girls laughing it up, having a grand 'ol time, with her crazy antics and off-the-cuff brand of humor.
She has a knack for saying/doing some off the wall shit. For example, one morning I woke up right before she did and so I turn to her to tell her "Good morning." Her reaction? She quickly scoots away in a jerking motion, almost like she's having a seizure, puts her hand over nose and blurts out "Fuck babe! Your breath smells like sweaty giraffe nuts!" Now, you might wonder how the hell would she know what sweaty giraffe nuts smell like - but trust me, that's just the type of stuff she comes up with. Most recently, she's been coming home from work with her 'all-the-sudden' Southern accent and saying stuff like "Get!" in place of "Excuse me." And for no reason, other than she thinks most of them are assholes, she has a strong resentment toward cops. So occasionally, while driving past one, she'll boldly give 'em the middle finger and say some crass remark - her favorite being "Fuckin dickhead!" Ah yes....the woman never ceases to amuse. But don't let her know that. She'll probably give you some sarcastic response like how she once told me, "I'm so glad you find me amusing. That's why I married you babe. So I can be your....What do you call those clowns who entertain the King?...Oh yeah, so I can be your jester. Anything else I can do to make you happy? Your majesty?"
Yeah, she has her share of animated moments; but, unlike any other woman I suppose, she also has a soft, emotional side. She is prone to shutting down and becoming extremely quiet (let's say due to an argument that we lost control of. Or more than likely I wouldn't shut up about.) Times like that is when she'll put in her ear buds, hit play on her MP3 player, and keep busy either by doing house chores or by doing some exercise. One trait you'll never hear me complain about, is Jasmine's self-conscious efforts to maintain her figure; that and her impeccable yet thrifty fashion sense. She's a champion bargain-hunter with a weakness for shoes. In fact, her shoe collection has gotten so massive that she has been determined in trying out her best brain-washing tactics on me - in hopes of convincing me that I really don't need my own closet. Yeah, she even pulled the classic Magician routine - standing there with a cheesy grin, saying "Ta-da!"; so I could bear witness to my exaggeratedly squooshed wardrobe, and piled-high shoes that she so masterfully rearranged in order to demonstrate the amount of closet space I waste. Yeah, she's a piece a work....crazy ass.
Jasmine is also the ever caring mom & wife, always concerned about the welfare and happiness of our kids and I. She'll come home tired from being on her feet all day at work, go into her daily ritual of a long hot shower followed by a brief nap, then wake up to prepare dinner for us all. Now although I've volunteered to split the cooking duties, she'd much rather have me help her maintain the cleanliness and appearance of our home (for which I am more than willing to do because I can not stand being surrounded by the slightest filth.) She makes it a point to converse with each of us individually throughout the evening and especially as a family at the dining table. Once dinner is ready, all personal activities must stop immediately. Trust, no one in this house can complain that they don't get enough time or attention from her.
She is also very sensual to say the least; and has no problems expressing her desire when in the mood. Add a couple of drinks into the equation and I'd swear she was a stripper or maybe a belly dancer in another life - cause she'll have this certain sexual swagger a la Catwoman type presence; even performing the occasional chest-bite (although much to my painful dislike.) And honestly, there's times where she is by far the more aggressive one in bed, which in turn leaves me feeling skeptical of my ability to fully satisfy her. Whenever she gets this super-aroused, she wants me to put it on her something fierce. As stated earlier though, going buck wild in the sack is not my forté.....I've been the slow & intimate, lovemaking type since the day I lost my virginity to her. I know this. She knows this. And so to both our benefit, she'll impulsively play the relentless Rodeo Girl. And wow! Wow, wow, wow! Yup, she's a handful alright.
Jasmine never stops letting me know she loves me, even when she's supposed to be disgusted/upset with me. I remember getting into a huge argument with her some years back....I'm talking 'first apartment/pre-kids' days. I don't remember what the hell we were fussing over....but I remember being furious at the time. So I grabbed my keys, slammed the door and headed toward the parking lot to get in my car. Jasmine followed and I saw her heading toward me but I was already intent on going for a drive (to get away, calm down, or whatever.) So I start up the car and begin pulling in reverse. She catches up and pounds on the driver side window. I remember her crying and asking me to stop being an ass and for me to park the car; that even if I don't wanna talk to her, I should go back upstairs and sleep it off. Of course, the immature & insensitive 20 something that I was, I say something stupid/hurtful and decide to put the car in Drive to take off. So what does she do? Jump on the hood of the car, of course.....and refusing to let go, until I park and go back upstairs. I slow down and come to a stop. I got more pissed, due to possible dents and scratches she might've caused, so I said some more stupid shit, but....Ok, fine. She won. I pull back into my parking spot, shut off the car, get out, close the door and finally she gets off the hood. We both went back upstairs and that was that. I brought up this anecdote to help illustrate the type of devotion she has. Through thick and thin, even now with this whole messy situation between us and our other half, Ramon and Joanne.
Soooo....this vivacious and sultry soul, who has shown me what it is to experience true love, is one helluva woman. She stands one inch shy of us being equal in height; and is the Ying to my sometimes emotionally handicapped Yang. A city girl to the core, full of spunk and swagger; yet possesses more than enough poise & grace to shut up any would-be judgmental upper class snob. She's bad. She's good. She's fun. Am I a lucky guy? Hell to the yes! My love for her is unwavering and I can only hope, if there is a beyond, that our bond transcends this life into the next. I love you baby! So now, a song to speak on my behalf....
Dwele - A Few Reasons
9:26 AM | Posted by Marco | Edit Post
I realize that sometimes I may come off pompous - as if I had millions of readers eagerly waiting for my latest entry. Trust, that is not my mindset. I don't think my story is so unique, nor any more compelling than that of the next person - Polyamorous or not. It's just I'm trying my best to make light of my current predicament...and I find
To the diehard Monogamist. I see you. I picture you waiting for the collapse of yet another failed attempt at Polyamory, so you can stand there all smug like, "See? I told you it doesn't work."
To which I reply, "Stay tuned. We shall see."
I, for one, happen to think Monogamy is great. My marriage to Jasmine is testament to that. It's a beautiful thing indeed to find someone you are so deeply in love with that you plan on spending the rest of your life with them. An elderly couple, together for decades and still madly in love, is something to envy no doubt. There's no denying they give us something to aspire after. Hence, movies such as Notebook are considered all-time favorites; and anyone lucky enough to be in that kind of relationship has a pretty sweet deal. All props due. But if love can be shared beyond the norm of two people - and everyone involved is happy - perhaps even happier for it; then I'd say that's a pretty sweet deal too. Wouldn't you? Alas, some people are not so fortunate, and instead spend their entire Monogamous life, in one relationship after another....all in the never ending pursuit of true love. Elusive as it may seem, they never give up. Can you blame them? Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. And yet, as often as this happens - you don't hear the average person belittle Monogamy with, "See? I told you it doesn't work."
Life. To each his own.
I try my best not to subscribe to conformity. Not because I'm trying to champion a cause or feel I'm some sort of rebel going up against the 'Machine', but because I strongly believe "Life is what you make it." I chose to explore Polyamory - before I knew there was a word for it; before I discovered that it was a lifestyle practiced by many. Jasmine and I stumbled into it, as previously mentioned. But now that I know there are others - do I feel I'm more bold? More passionate? Or more enlightened than the next man? No. No. And no. I'm just living out my life the best way I see fit - so long as my wife and kids are also leading happy lives.
Will my quad work out in the long run? Man, I don't know. If my intuition was that keen, I would've probably begged, borrowed and stole to put down some serious moolah on Google back when they first went public. But I'll be damned if I don't give this all I got. I'm going for the gusto. All the while, I will continue to be my usual cocky, trash-talking, good-spirited self and more than likely my writings will reflect such. Therefore, I would like thank everyone who actually finds this blog interesting enough to spend time on (whether you regularly follow or not). Thank ya. You are too kind.
Your boy Marco, signing off.
Mutemath - You Are Mine
- 1) My wife has a boyfriend.
- 2) Polyamory everywhere.
- 3) Has it really been that long?
- 4) Mr. Marco, please step up.
- 5) Whoah!
- 6) Sexy Brown Legs.
- 7) Dear reader,
- 8) Tantalizing Heart.
- 9) Imagine this blog.....
- 10) Break up to break through.
- 11) The show goes on.
- 12) Polyamory.
- 13) First feelings.
- 14) Finally.
- 15) Hear ye, hear ye
- 16) You said what?
- 17) Show stopper.
- 18) Why?
- 19) Done playing.
- 20) OK. Let's fix this.
- 21) Polyamory Paradigm
- 22) Long road ahead.
- 23) Places, everyone. Aaaaaaaaand........
- March (23)